Presence Mode or Performance Mode?

Last week I was listening to the audio book “Radical Wholeness” by Phillip Shepherd where he discussed the difference between presence mode and performance mode. He claimed that when we are very young presence mode is our main operational stance, but as we grow up and are socialized, we quickly learn to perfect and even prefer performance mode. Presence mode is marked by curiosity, learning, new experiences, and growth, while performance mode is all about presenting ourselves in a certain light so that others will think what we want them to think about us. There is no growth while in performance mode.

I am still thinking about this contrast between presence mode and performance mode because this distinction resonated with me. I could not help but remember the words of Jesus about how we are to practice our spiritual disciplines for an audience of one – for God – and not to put on a show for the people around us. Jesus did not use the words “performance mode” but he certainly talked about the idea behind the words. It seems to me that Jesus lived his life only in presence mode and intentionally refused performance mode.  That is why Jesus was known as someone who “went around doing good.” Because Jesus was present to all people he encountered, he was able to perceive what people wanted and needed and was free to give it to them. If he had been in performance mode, he would have been too focused on self to even be interested in the needs of others.

Unfortunately, Jesus’ disciples lived mostly in performance mode and were constantly asking the question – “Who is the greatest?” That desire – to be great – is at the heart of performance mode. Even when someone in performance mode does something helpful for another it is done in service to the self. Jesus taught his disciples that the truly great ones are the ones who opt out of performance mode and serve those around them in presence mode. Talk about a paradigm shift! Moving from performance mode to presence mode is the greatest thing you can do for both yourself and for all those around you.

Living in presence mode makes you more loving, because love always seeks the presence and welfare of the beloved.

Living in presence mode makes you more generous, because you are not locked in the small prison of self.

Living in presence mode makes you more patient, because everything is not about you.

Living in presence mode makes you more interesting, because people find those who are interested in them to be quite interesting.

Living in presence mode makes you more helpful, because truly seeing and understanding others allows you to serve them well.

If being more loving, generous, patient, interesting, and helpful sounds attractive to you, try making the shift this week from performance mode to presence mode and see for yourself what a difference that makes.