Confirmation or Affirmation?

Recently I was talking with a friend about faith and he said, “I really want God to tell me the best path forward in my life right now.” He is in the middle of discerning the answer to some important questions that will affect the course of his life and that of his future family. What he really wants is confirmation that the decisions he is making are the best decisions possible.

Is confirmation for your decisions what you are looking for currently from God?

I suggested to my friend that God may be more interested in affirmation than in confirmation. I reminded him that twice in Jesus’ ministry God spoke in an audible voice – “This is my Son, whom I love…” While God was certainly interested in the path Jesus was walking, his spoken words indicate that God was more interested in affirming Jesus in his identity as a beloved child.

When I was in seventh grade, I tried out for the basketball team. I was the only one of 13 players who did not make the team. I was devastated. I remember that my dad picked me up after try outs and I told him I was cut. We rode home in complete silence, which was rare because usually the radio was blaring country music. After pulling in the driveway and shutting off the car, my dad opened his door, then turned to me and said, “You will always be a starter on my team!”  I will never forget that affirmation from my dad! It was exactly what I most needed in my sorrow.

While it is desirable to have a clear path forward with confirmation from God that our decisions are right, it has been my experience that this type of confirmation is rare. What is plentiful is the affirmation from God that I am his beloved son, and that he is pleased that I am.

St. Augustine once said, famously, “Love God and do what you want.” When we return God’s love that he “lavishly pours out on us” we align our will with his. The determination to do God’s will usually moves our choices into the category of choosing between two good things, ensuring that our choice will bear good fruit.

Receive God’s affirmation, “You are my child whom I love…” It is exactly what you need to hear.

Postscript: After being cut from the basketball team in 7th grade, I practiced all that year and made the team in 8th grade as a starting player. It was probably helpful that I also grew six inches that year!